“Leah, Leah, it’s so boring around here. There’s never anything to do! So I’m going out to the hills with the goats and sheep. I promise I’ll do my chores later.”

Hmm…

I suppose that’s why our father, Laban, thought it would be good for her to be the flock’s shepherd. A

nd me at home doing the day’s baking and sweeping the infernal desert out of our father’s tent.

So how could I have seen him first?

His name is Jacob. He is a relative a cousin. His mother Rebekah is our father’s younger sister.

Jacob traveled some distance and stopped by the community well just beyond our village camp. Now normally, it took all the shepherds to move the great protective stone from on top of the well.

Then this upstart of a stranger comes along and just moves it aside like it was a pebble.

Now that I’ve heard that story, many more times than I care to remember, I suppose Jacob must have been greatly relieved to finally see a relative.

I think Jacob was showing off for my beautiful sister. And there was our flocks of sheep and goats that Rachel brought to the well to water. T

o his credit, I am sure he loved her from that day to the day of his own dying breath. Oh, but I get ahead of myself!

After Jacob arrived, it was a whole month before, how do you say, my father’s true colors began to show.

He listened as Jacob shared about our extended family.

He told of the health of aunt Rebekah. He said that when he left his home in a rush that his father Isaac was on his death bed. Jacob seemed genuinely sad that by now his father had probably died.

He told of this strange story that even though he is the younger of twins, he now had the blessings and promise and guarantee of the family wealth and spiritual leadership.

At the time, I thought Jacob was so arrogant and bragging to his uncle Laban.

Jacob also told of his strange dream about some sort of ladder or stone stairway from heaven to earth. He said God was in his dream.

Jacob said he had received a blessing direct from God!! Strange. Perhaps it was the desert sun. Perhaps not.

It was at the end of that first month that Jacob spoke up for Rachel in marriage.

Our father might have anticipated this, after all he could see how Jacob looked and acted around Rachel. Ahhh, young people! It’s a wonder he could not see what was in my heart.

I suppose this is when everything really began to get as sticky as honey. Jacob actually agreed to work for Laban with the animals for seven whole years for Rachel’s bride price.

Jacob told me years later those seven years of work seemed but mere days to him.

But on Rachel’s wedding night oh my, I cringe to this day everytime I think of it -

Oh, how I carried through with my own father’s deceit, I still wonder. But I did…

Their wedding came at the end of those seven years that Jacob worked for Rachel.

Their marriage feast was celebrated. And it was beautiful. Then under dark of night, I was the one under the marriage veil, and in the marriage bed! I guess Rachel and I were not that much different after all. Jacob did not notice till daybreak. I suppose all the wine Laban forced on Jacob had something to do with it.

Jacob flew into such a rage at my father. I was sure there was going to be spilled blood.

Then Jacob had to stop in his sandals at my father’s words about, “an old family custom that the younger daughter should not marry before the elder daughter.”

Sadly, I think it was more like father getting rid of what he considered damaged merchandise, at full price.

Laban did not care one iota about my feelings, or Rachel’s and certainly not Jacob’s. However, something must have rung true in Jacob.

I think he was reminded of his own status of younger brother and how he deceived both brother and father. Jacob stopped arguing with father.

Laban finally did permit the second wedding between Rachel and Jacob to take place. But here was the deal: Jacob had to wait until the end of my wedding week…

and he promised another seven years of hard labor with the animals. Jacob and Laban were a pair….Matched in their personalities and dealings.

And we all had to live with it. Now two sisters, co-wives, in competition for status in one household! Oh, you don’t want to know!

Oh, you do?

Well, it was always obvious that Jacob clearly preferred Rachel. He did love her so much! However, God saw fit to ‘open’ my womb.

In seven years, I conceived seven children by Jacob, 6 sons and 1 daughter. Yet Jacob loved me not. Rachel remained unable to conceive.

So through her maidservant, Bilhah, Rachel gave Jacob 2 sons. Of course, I had to give my maidservant, Zilpah to Jacob. And 2 more sons were born.

It was only after all this and 14 years that Rachel finally conceived. Little Joseph was born. One would think that after this there would finally be peace in the household.

Nothing was further from the truth. I know you do not want to sit here for hours so I can tell you all the details!

It would only be the surface if I told you even a little about the jealousy that grew. The jealousy went further than between all the women in the household.

Once Joseph was born, all our sons were not fit to live with! Jacob’s preference toward Joseph was too much. I could not help but wonder if we were all mismatched.

God seemed so quiet during those years.

However, I sensed God was still with all of us. Jacob’s God became my God.

Somehow, I grew to have peace in my heart.

I went to God throughout those years for guidance and strength when things just seemed to get worse.

I do not know why, but God honored me. God even honored my lost love for Jacob. God honored my growing faith through my children. I dedicated each of them to God.

In a way, each of their names is as an offering of my faith and an offering of my children to God.

Later it was to be that each of Jacob’s sons (mine, Bilhah’s, Zilpah’s and Rachel’s) would be numbered as the leaders of the “twelve tribes of Israel.” God would be faithful until the end of human history.

Speaking of children…now please know, I really tried not to show favoritism. However, have you heard about my fourth son, Judah?

When Judah was born, my love for God was stronger than my love for Jacob. This time I truly did praise the lord. Judah means: praise.

Of course, I could not know then, but a new era was beginning. It is from the descendants of Judah, the world’s messiah would come. You know him by the name of Jesus.

I am told you know this story. You hear it told at least twice a year when you gather as clans, much like today.

You gather at something you call Christmas, and celebrate the messiah’s birth. Then you gather at Easter, when you celebrate after his death on, of all things, a cross. He died for everyone’s sins.

He then rose from the grave in victory over death! It’s a wonder! It is an eternal promise for everyone! Oh, that God would see fit to honor me, Jacob, his father Isaac and grandfather Abraham in this way, still fills me with awe!

It also rivals the mind that the holy God still accepts people who make a mockery of things he considers holy. For instance, marriage and love are to be treated with respect. I am not sure we did that. Jacob certainly thought that we were mismatched. Yet God saw fit to work through all that and bless us still.

Where was I? O, yes…

After the second of the seven years of hard work that Jacob did for my father and just after the birth of Rachel’s Joseph, Jacob became homesick. Even thinking about leaving the tribe, I knew we were in for big trouble. Indeed, we were all in for more devious doings between Laban and Jacob. Over the next six years their deception centered in the breeding of the flocks, and the changing of Jacob’s wages - 10 times to suit Laban, of course. I would like to think God’s hand was working toward his own purpose. I just didn’t see how.

Then one day Jacob shared with Rachel and me three things that would change our lives. Jacob said that our brothers and other tribal leaders were no longer friendly toward Jacob. Jealousy again! He also said that God had spoken to him and that he was to leave and return to Canaan. And that since Laban was out sheering sheep a week’s journey away, that the time was right to leave. Rachel and I agreed.

So that is how, after 20 years, and hard labor on Jacob’s part and jealousy beyond words, we all were on our way to the promised land Canaan - our husband’s home. Alas, we had not traveled far on our journey when father Laban, our brothers and other tribal leaders came upon us. It wasn’t difficult to catch up with us, what with 4 wives, 12 children, servants, servants’ families, flocks of sheep and goats and a herd of cattle.

Father Laban came after us with great speed and great anger. I should not have been surprised that he was so angry and emotional over our leaving. Tribal possession was very important and strong. It still is to this day. Taking any part of it away meant war. Even though Rachel and I and the others went willingly with Jacob, Laban believed otherwise. And Laban’s authority and position in the tribe were now in question.

Then I learned father was also angry that his household Gods or idols were missing. Not any of us could know that Jacob’s beloved Rachel had stolen them. To this day, I don’t know what that girl was thinking. But as you say, the apple does not fall far from the tree. After she stole the idols, like father and husband Rachel lied so not to be discovered. She tricked her way out of certain death by using her situation of womanhood.

All the time, Laban tried in vain to put himself in good light. Jacob spoke passionately and accurately about how he had been treated at the hand of Laban over the past 20 years. Laban finally had to admit that God spoke to him in a dream, not to speak to Jacob “either good or bad.” Then, the oddest thing together they built this pile of stones an altar of sorts. Father and Jacob swore that neither would ever harm the other… deceiver just can’t trust deceiver. Father then actually warns Jacob not to mistreat Rachel and me. And Jacob had to swear never to take any more wives. I personally appreciated that one. I know all this was a sort of tribal dance of saving face for my father and Jacob trying to protect all that was now his. I also believe God was working throughout the entire encounter.

We all breathed a collective and huge sigh of relief when Laban, and the others departed to go back home. We all breathed easier, that is, except Jacob. He was still quite edgy even got quieter and quieter as we got closer to his homeland.

Then I remembered…He still had to deal with his brother Esau the brute who vowed to kill him, 20 years before. I began praying right then and there for God’s protection of all of us, especially Jacob. I prayed for a softened heart for Esau. I prayed for reconciliation between these brothers. When we finally crossed the Euphrates river we saw soldiers approaching. Jacob said the soldiers were angels from God. He said this encouraged him enough to send messengers of his own to Esau, telling Esau that he was coming home. I know Jacob hoped that these 20 years had healed his deeply hurt brother. It wasn’t long before we all knew Esau’s answer.

Esau was coming, with his own army of 400!!!

That is when Jacob decided to pray! Jacob told me much later that he reminded the God of his ancestors the promises that God had made years before. I can just hear Jacob telling God that all those promises can hardly be kept if God allows Esau to destroy Jacob and his community. He probably said something like, “Now would be a good time for you to keep your promise… now would be good.” Jacob - always bargaining and telling God, God’s business.

Jacob had run for his life with only the robe on his back, and now he sent to Esau extraordinary presents from his considerable holdings. Jacob was hoping that his gifts would make Esau forget his anger, be dazzled by the wealth of his brother and accept the gifts and him and forgive him.

We moved forward as Jacob got us all across the shallow part of the river Jabbok.

That night Jacob stayed behind in the other camp. In the morning, one look at Jacob and I was sure he took a great fall. He was all black and blue and bruised. My goodness, he was limping! He said he was fine. But I could tell something had taken place. It wasn’t until days later that Jacob finally told me what happened. It was nothing short of magnificent! Jacob was alone…Alone with his thoughts about approaching Esau, alone with his thoughts about his future, and his future linked with the covenant God. Jacob was alone and needed to resolve many things.

Jacob says he wrestled with God until the break of day!

Wrestled with God!

This was some awesome experience of the presence and might of God. This was part physical and spiritual wrestling of awesome effect. I know Jacob’s experience is one that no one can ever grasp or understand fully, until it is personally experienced. I do know that God encounters people in ways that reach each of us that will best connect us to God and make us stronger. Somehow this wrestling with the might of God was so powerful that the impact on Jacob’s body was that his thigh was put out of joint.

Is it not magnificent that God chose to stoop to encounter Jacob right where Jacob was? God truly does the same for each of us. God met Jacob at such a vulnerable time. Oh my! What a holy match! As Jacob and I talked about it over the years we certainly realize that Jacob could not defeat God. So Jacob said he clung to God. Jacob would not accept defeat. God could not, as it were, escape, because Jacob was so desperate. In his desperation for resolve Jacob clung tighter to God. So God chose to disable Jacob to get him to let go. Even in making him weaker, God strengthened Jacob.

In pain and exhaustion, Jacob still clung to God because he wanted with all his being the blessing from God. Not just any blessing, but a life-changing-experience blessing. Jacob would not rest until his future was secure in God’s hands. Then God asked his name. I guess to seek his character. You see, Jacob means ‘he who clutches’ and referred to the tricking of Esau years before. And that’s when God changed his name. “Israel” he was to be called. For he had striven. Israel means ‘he who strives with God’. Jacob knew then and there that ‘the grasper’ became the one who is determined to fulfill his purpose within the will of God. Not that he would ever be perfect. He wasn’t. But his life had taken on a new direction. He was now a man of God, ‘he who strives with God.”

And that is when God blessed Jacob. For the first time in his life, Jacob felt forgiven for his past. God confirmed that the covenant promises would go on through Jacob and that his future would be certain. The deceitful way in which he obtained his first blessing was forgotten. Jacob was a new man.

Oh, indeed, a holy match!

And yes, our caravan went on to meet up with Esau! God’s acceptance, forgiveness and blessing of Jacob later helped in the reconciliation between Jacob and Esau. But Jacob never forgot the many lessons of being broken and made weaker to be stronger in faith for God. Out of brokenness God was making a person of substance for God’s purpose. This tells us that even when we do not reach out to God, God reaches out to us. In this, we don’t deserve the mercy we receive.