It’s Friendship

      One of my new favorite writers is Donald Miller.  He has written three books that I know of — Blue Like Jazz, Through Painted Deserts and Searching for God Knows What. 

       Miller writes in Searching for God Knows What. 

       “As far as the writers in the Bible go, there are a few I like more than others. I like Paul the best because he said the hard stuff about women in ministry and homosexuality and you get to thinking he was pretty severe, and all of a sudden he starts getting vulnerable as though he is feeling lonely, needing to share personal stuff with somebody.  When I come to these parts of his letters I feel he was writing late at night and was perhaps very tired, in some stranger’s home who was intimidated because they knew his reputation but had only just met him.  If you had a guy in your home who was always getting beat up about his faith, thrown in prison and that sort of thing, it would make you feel intimidated and nervous about having him in your home; it would make you wonder exactly how committed you are.  I’ll bet Paul didn’t care, though; he doesn’t seem like the type to judge people, but you know people were intimidated by him anyway.

       “He was terribly intelligent.  For the first couple of days in a new town, Paul probably felt completely alone.  I see him like this when he talks about how he wants to go home and be in heaven but stays on earth so he can write letters and preach.  I see him writing by candlelight at a stranger’s table when he talks about how he has this thorn in his flesh and can’t get over it and prayed about it three times, but God said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you.”  It’s writing like this that I like in a book.  If a writer is going to sit down with a big important voice and try to get me motivated about something, I pretty much don’t want to read anymore because it makes me feel tired, as though life were just about getting a lot of things done.  Paul never did this.  He was terribly personal.”

       Isn’t that great?  I’ve also thought about what it would be like to have Paul over for dinner.  And I think that Miller describes Paul well.  You wouldn’t expect to enjoy having dinner with Paul.  And then you would find that you enjoy it very much and look forward to the next time.

       When I was about to graduate from seminary, I asked the woman in charge of the placement office at Fuller a question.  I asked her how often committees from congregations looking for a pastor wanted information about a student’s grade point average.  I’m not going to tell you why I asked that question.  Let’s just say I was doing okay until I hit Greek. 

        I was very surprised by her answer.  She told me that in the six or seven years she had been in the position that she had been asked the question maybe four times.  And each time the congregational committee wanted to make sure that the student’s GPA wasn’t too high.  She said that they had had experience with bookworms who just wanted to hide in their office and study and that they wanted someone better-rounded.

       Some think that people who are interested in ideas are not interested in people.  They are supposed to immerse themselves in books.  They are not “relational”.  There are people like this, of course. 

       But Paul isn’t like this.  Yes, no one could be more interested in the great truths of God than Paul.  This entire Letter to the Colossians has been an unfolding of them.  But Paul is also deeply involved with the people to whom the truth has been given.  In fact, to judge by this chapter and the last chapter of Romans, Paul shows more interest in individual people than anyone else in the Bible except Jesus.  The point is that if you get close to God’s heart, you are going to get close to what is on God’s heart which is people. 

       Here in Colossians 4 is a list of names of men and women who never knew they were going to be famous.  Probably if people had known that a mention in one of Paul letters was to give then undying fame – actually get them a mention in one of my sermons two thousand years later -- there would have been a long line of people outside his door urging Paul to include them in the letter.  But these names are mentioned because they made a difference in Paul’s life and in the lives of one another.            

       The people around Paul were at one time were enemies because of their nationality and religious background. Now they are friends because they are united in Christ.  The gospel builds bridges over ethnic, racial, economic, and sexual divisions.  There is a wonderful cross-section of people from verse 7 all the way through the end of the chapter: Jews, Gentiles, Greeks, Asians, slaves, free, women, men, those who were older and experienced in the faith, and those who were young and timid in the faith.  In this group of people were a doctor, a pastor, a fugitive, and a woman.  They come from different backgrounds but their friendship is anchored in their relationship to Christ.

        In verses 7-9 Paul mentions two men, Tychicus and Onesimus, who will carry this letter to the Colossians.  He says that when they get there they will talk about personal things that are not in the letter.  They will tell the Colossians about Paul.  Paul is not one of those who loves to talk about other people but remains hidden behind a veil himself.  He was very comfortable that his needs, wants, struggles, and joys in life should be discussed in his absence.  In fact, he’s asking that these two men do that.

       Tychicus came from the Colossians own Roman province of Asia .  In verse 7, Paul honors Tychicus as  a dear friend, and as a respected colleague and partner in ministry.

       The Colossians know about Tychicus.  They are quite ready to honor him.  But they aren’t so ready to honor the other carrier of the letter, Onesimus.  The Colossians also know Onesimus and don’t think much of him.

       The story of Onesimus is told in the little New Testament book of Philemon.  Philemon lived in Colossae and was fairly wealthy.  Onesimus was his slave – like about 40% of the rest of the Roman Empire . He ran away from Colossae and somehow found his way to Rome – all the roads led there after all.  There he ran into Paul, became a Christian, and was transformed.  

       The name Onesimus means useful.  So Paul makes a pun in the letter to Philemon.  He , says, “Well, his name is finally equal to what he is.  He has been useless to everybody, but now he is useful to me and to the Lord.”  So Paul does not refer to him as a slave, but as a “faithful and dear brother”. 

       A few weeks ago, before Easter, we read Paul’s instructions to slaves and masters.  It’s fascinating that these words are written in the very context of a slave returning to his master carrying this letter.  So it’s a wonderful story of redemption, renewal, and relationships being restored.  

       Then in verse 10 we meet a man named Aristarchus.  He shows up in a few times in the New Testament.  But he never says anything.  In my mind he is a big, tough guy with a square jaw who doesn’t talk much.  He shows up in Ephesus in one of Paul’s adventures.  Aristarchus and another disciple, Gaius, are seized by the people of Ephesus in a conflict with silversmiths over the diminished sales of silver shrines of their goddess, Artemis. The conflict was the result of the influence of the gospel preached by Paul.  Aristarchus is dragged and beaten and barely escapes with his life in the riot in the theater of Ephesus.

       Aristarchus is one of the ones who stood by Paul in the middle of the riot.  He is the kind of guy you want to have around when you have problems.  Later he accompanies Paul on the prison ship from Caesarea to Rome , where Paul is imprisoned as he writes this letter.  Paul calls him “my fellow prisoner.”  There was no reason to believe that Aristarchus is really under arrest.  It’s just that because of the kind of man he is.  He shares Paul’s imprisonment with him.  He is a brother you can count on.  He hangs with Paul, lives under the same circumstances, and serves his good friend because he cares about him.

       If Aristarchus is the strong, tough, silent type, then Epaphras is a talker.  Epaphras founded the church in Colossae after he had met Christ through Paul in Ephesus . Paul says here that Epaphras is a native of Colossae --  “one of your numbers.”  Epaphras talks to Paul about his people, to people about the Lord, and to the Lord about everything.  Paul writes in verse 13-14: “I vouch for him that he is working hard for you and for all those at Laodicea and Hierapolis .”  What hard work can Epaphras possibly be doing for these people, while he is away from them?  His wrestling in prayer for them is hard work.  Prayer actually gets God’s work done.

       Next on Paul’s list is “our dear friend Luke, the doctor.”   Paul and Luke had been through a great deal since the Lord had brought them together at Troas years before.  Not only is Paul encouraged and inspired by the physician’s intellectual and spiritual depth, but as a result of Luke’s companionship with Paul we have the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles.  

       Mark (also known as John Mark) and Demas are an interesting contrast with one another.  Mark started out badly as a young man.  As we will see when we begin our look at the Book of Acts this summer, Mark once left Paul in the lurch.  Paul publicly reprimanded Mark for his failure then, but now he publicly commends him.  In 2 Timothy, the last book he wrote just before his death, he commends Mark even more fully.  Failing once doesn’t mean failing forever.  Mark’s fear turns to courage, and he becomes someone the church could count on.  He becomes one of the great chroniclers of the life of Christ.  The book of Mark is this man’s document.

       Demas went the other direction.  He began as an able member of the band which traveled together in ministry.  But there’s a subtle point that comes across in Paul’s statement, “Luke, the beloved physician, sends you his greetings, and also Demas.”  Everybody in this paragraph gets a positive word except Demas.  Demas is just Demas.  He’s not beloved, courageous, fellow, or brother.  It strikes me that Paul even at this point may have begun to wonder about Demas and whether he is wholehearted in his devotion to the cause of Christ.  He wants to mention him because he is there, but he can’t think of any honest commendation to add.

        I believe that Paul’s lack of verbal comment is in itself a compassionate expression of love for Demas.  He doesn’t tell the Colossians about what he suspects is happening.  But by the time Paul writes 2 Timothy at the end of his life, he says of Demas that he “loved this present world” and abandoned his faith.  He loved what this world had to offer.  By the end Demas had become an outsider to the believing community.  Mark is the story of someone who started out badly and ended up faithful.  Demas is the story of someone who is in the midst of sliding downhill even as this letter is written.

       Paul mentions two people in the closing few verses.  Nympha is a woman who owns a home in nearby Laodecea where a church community or fellowship met. 

       Some early scribes copying the Bible changed this from a feminine name to a masculine name, Nymphas, because of their discomfort with women in prominent positions in the church.  Paul didn’t have a problem with.  He honors women in leadership.  But some early scribes had a problem.  The same thing happened in Roman 16 when a woman named Junia is transformed into a man Junias through a verbal sex change operation.  But her name is Junia and Paul actually identifies as an apostle.

       In a similar vein, there are a number of ancient manuscripts that translate verse 15 as Nymphas – the man’s name.  But the oldest, best manuscripts agree that the name is Nympha, that she is a woman who owns a home and gives leadership and hospitality to this church.   Paul honors her ministry.

       The other person mentioned here at the end is Archippus.  Paul writes in verse 17 “Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it.”  Archippus is also greeted at the beginning of the Letter to Philemon. 

       Archippus is almost certainly Philemon’s son. His name means “tall horse” or “high horse” but he doesn’t feel very high.  It’s hard to be in a great man’s shadow.  Paul’s words may mean something like, “Even though your father is a big deal, and even though it’s hard for you to believe in yourself compared to other people, there is a ministry you have received from the Lord that you are to fulfill.  Don’t be afraid.  If the Lord Jesus has called you to some service for Him, get on with it, because you can do what God has given you to do.”    

       Love is expressed in recognizing the Christian worker, honoring his task and encouraging his best.  Paul had a quality of tough love.

       Finally, at the very close, Paul asks the Colossians to remember his chains.

       Chain remembering is a good thing for us to do.  We must remember the chains, figuratively speaking, of other people.  Some may have physical disabilities that bind and frustrate them.  Others have emotional chains – perhaps relationships that have the effect of weighing them down, or memories of past failure.  Let’s not forget to be involved with one another in those things.  We ought to be concerned to be helpful to one another in the tough business of being human. 

       But Paul’s chains aren’t metaphorical.  They are the real physical deal.   When we read of Paul’s chains we should not forget that they actually moved over the paper as he wrote his signature to this letter.  His hand was chained to the soldier that kept him. 

       As Paul wrote way back in chapter 1 verse 25:  “In my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of His body, that is, the church.”   Does this mean that the cross is incomplete?  Not at all.  Jesus died to save His Church. There is nothing the least bit incomplete about the cross.

       Paul is not claiming that, in his beatings and imprisonments, he is somehow repeating or even perfecting what Jesus has already done for us. The gift of God in Christ is already perfect and complete.

       But Paul has been called, as we have been called, to get the message of the cross out into the world. The gospel is free. But there is often a substantial charge for shipping and handling. And it is this sometimes-hefty cost of delivery that Paul and we have been called upon to pay.

       Paul’s references to his sufferings are not pleas for sympathy.  They are his claims to authority, the guarantees of his right to speak.  It is as if he said, “This is not a letter from someone who does not know what the service of Christ means or someone who is asking others to do what he is not prepared to do himself.  It is a letter from one who has himself suffered and sacrificed for Christ and for His people.  “My only right to speak is that I too have carried the cross of Christ and love His church.”